Daily business jokes

Two blondes/sardars were driving towards the Statue of Liberty.
The sign said: Statue of Liberty left
So they were upset and went back home.



Ever have guests come home who ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’
Tell them: “No, we pee in the kitchen.”

Student: Ma’am
Teacher: Yes.
Student: Would you punish me for something I clearly didn’t do?
Teacher: Never, I wouldn’t punish you for something you didn’t do.
Student: Great! I didn’t do my homework.

Mom: Son, what are you doing?
Son: I’m studying.
Mom: Good boy, what are you studying?
Son: Your future daughter in law's profile.

Knock knock
Whose there
Isbina
Isbina who?
Isbina looong day. Without you my friend.

Go to the nearest bird store and buy some bird seeds. When they get them to you, ask them how long will it take for the bird to grow and wait for their reaction.

An officer came to inquire in my house and asked “Where were you between 4 and 5”
Me: In kindergarten.

Craving for attention from your children or grandchildren? Just turn off the wifi.

A blonde comes back to the store angry. “How come this book has names and numbers but no stories?”
Office guy: “Oh so you’re the one who took our phone directory.”

What do you call an alligator wearing a suit?
An investigator.

When I see jokes on my phone, I don’t really laugh out loud. I just blow more air from my nose than normal.

She: I have facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Pinterest, Instagram and LinkedIn.
He: Do you have a life?
She: Oh no! Can you send me the link?

Knock knock
Who's there?
Daisy
Daisy who?
Daisy me rollin’ They hating.

Q. What gets easier to pick up the heavier it gets?
A. Women.